And Now, We Homeschool


As hap­pens when­ev­er I take a near­ly year­long break from blog­ging, a lot has hap­pened.  Right now, the main change that we are expe­ri­enc­ing is that we are now home­school­ing Asa (6) and Kael (8).

When I talked with friends and fam­i­ly about our deci­sion, I said some­thing to the effect that it was the longest quick deci­sion we’ve ever made.  Before Kael start­ed school, it was some­thing that I con­sid­ered very seri­ous­ly.  At the time, Jason and I end­ed up decid­ing it wasn’t the best deci­sion for our fam­i­ly.  Kael had a great kinder­garten year with a teacher he enjoyed very much.  The next year, Asa was sup­posed to start kinder­garten.  Because of his sum­mer birth­day, he was going to be one of the youngest kids in his class.  I had ques­tions about his readi­ness.  I thought very seri­ous­ly about home­school­ing Asa.  In the end, we decid­ed not to do it.  He had a great kinder­garten year.  Kael had a good first grade year.

Over the sum­mer, I loved hav­ing them home, and I think that they loved being home.  I watched them grow both phys­i­cal­ly and emo­tion­al­ly.  I watched them devel­op their rela­tion­ships with each oth­er.  When it was time for them to go back to school, they weren’t ready.  I was sad.  Jonas was *so* sad.  He cried for Asa and Kael every day after they left and before they came home.  As the days passed, he seemed to miss them more and more.  As the days passed, it also became more and more evi­dent that there were cer­tain things that weren’t work­ing for the boys at school.

A friend of mine asked if I was going to blog about our rea­sons for choos­ing home­school­ing.  I thought about it for awhile.  In the end, I think that I’m going to let this be it.  We had many good expe­ri­ences with the boys’ teach­ers and the school.  We also had some that left us very con­cerned.  By Novem­ber, Asa was telling me that he didn’t talk at school and that he knew the teach­ers liked it when he didn’t say a word all day.  Kael was telling me that he knew he wasn’t smart enough for sec­ond grade and that he knew he wasn’t a very good read­er or writer.

At one point, I start­ed think­ing “if only we could home­school.”  Then, I real­ized that we could.  We could home­school.  I start­ed talk­ing with friends who had been home­school­ing their chil­dren.  I start­ed read­ing blogs.  I start­ed research­ing cur­ricu­lum.  The more I read, the more excit­ed I got.  We talked to Asa and Kael about it.  We weren’t going to let them make the deci­sion whether to con­tin­ue at school or start home­school­ing, but we did want to know if they were excit­ed or anx­ious about it.  It turns out they were real­ly excit­ed about the idea.

The boys’ last day of school was the day before Thanks­giv­ing.  They have been home since then, and so far it is fan­tas­tic!  The hard­est part about home­school­ing so far has been hold­ing back and not try­ing to teach them EVERYTHING.  His­to­ry, math, writ­ing, read­ing, poet­ry, lit­er­a­ture, Span­ish, engi­neer­ing, geog­ra­phy, chem­istry…

I Didn’t Want Girls

Nor did I not want them.

When Jason and I got mar­ried, we had some pre­mar­i­tal coun­sel­ing through our church.  Dur­ing the pre­mar­i­tal coun­sel­ing, we had to do a cou­ple com­pat­i­bil­i­ty tests.  One of the tests asked us how many chil­dren we want­ed.  We were sup­posed to answer with­out talk­ing to each oth­er.  When we revealed our answers to each oth­er, we found that we had both writ­ten that we want­ed to have four chil­dren.  Over the years, I obsessed over when to start hav­ing chil­dren and how far apart our chil­dren should be.  I think I attrib­uted more con­trol of the sit­u­a­tion to myself than I deserved.

When I was preg­nant with Kael, we did not find out his gen­der at the ultra­sound.  The Mon­day before he was born, I sent Jason an email.  The sub­ject line said, “boy.”  The email said, “I’m call­ing it.”  When I was preg­nant with Asa, we also did not find out his gen­der at the ultra­sound.  This time, I had a gen­er­al feel­ing that he might be a boy, but I wasn’t as con­fi­dent.  After he was born, I told Jason that we were going to have a fam­i­ly of boys.

With the first two boys, we had not found out the gen­der at the ultra­sound because that was my pref­er­ence.  Jason pre­ferred to know the gen­der.  So, with the oth­er two boys we found out the gen­der.  It wasn’t because we had hoped for one gen­der or the oth­er.  We sim­ply want­ed to know.

Over the years, peo­ple have come to the assump­tion that Jason and I want­ed to have girls or that we were dis­ap­point­ed to have our fam­i­ly of four boys.  That’s not true.  It’s not that I pre­ferred boys over girls, but I also didn’t pre­fer girls over boys.  We didn’t have a pref­er­ence.  I know that some peo­ple have a pref­er­ence for gen­der. I didn’t.  I real­ly didn’t.

At one ultra­sound, the doc­tor said to us, “I’m sor­ry I can’t give you your girl.”  One friend said to me, “Every time I ran into you, and asked you about the new baby, you said, ‘it’s *anoth­er* boy!’” (This was not said in a pos­i­tive tone.)  Late­ly, many peo­ple have asked us if we are “done.”  Yes.  I am done hav­ing babies.

How­ev­er, I am not done hav­ing chil­dren because of the like­li­hood of hav­ing five boys.  I am done because con­tin­u­ing would lead to the cer­tain­ty of hav­ing five (or more!) chil­dren.

Would I be hap­py with some oth­er gen­der vari­a­tion in our fam­i­ly? One girl, three boys.  Two girls, two boys.  Three girls, one boy.  Four girls.  I’m sure I would be.  I’m sure that rais­ing girls is won­der­ful.  I’m sure they are fab­u­lous.  I’m sure that par­ents of girls think they are the most won­der­ful kids on the face of the plan­et.  I’m sure that if we had daugh­ters, I would love them with all my heart and soul.

But, I don’t.  I have four sons, and I am hap­py, pleased, con­tent, thrilled, and sat­is­fied with our fam­i­ly just the way it is.

It might seem fun­ny to some peo­ple that I wrote those post.  If I’m so hap­py, why both­er, right?  If what I’m say­ing here is that gen­der doesn’t mat­ter, isn’t it a lit­tle too much protest­ing to write and write and write about it?  I’m writ­ing this post for four rea­sons.  Kael, Asa, Jonas, and Kellen.  While friends, fam­i­ly, and doc­tors might think that they under­stand how I feel, and they might think they are reas­sur­ing me that they know just what I’m think­ing, I’ve got four sen­si­tive souls also lis­ten­ing to the con­ver­sa­tion.  Kael has asked me a few times about hav­ing a sis­ter.  He has won­dered about why his friends have girls in their fam­i­lies and he doesn’t.  All it takes is one well mean­ing com­ment mis­un­der­stood by one sen­si­tive child.

It’s pos­si­ble that over the years, I’ve heard some of these com­ments about want­i­ng or need­ing a girl in the fam­i­ly and not cor­rect­ed the per­son say­ing them.  Though, as they seem to be com­ing a bit more fre­quent­ly now as talk of us being “done” also comes up, I feel as though I should get this out and make it clear.  Girls are great.  Daugh­ters are won­der­ful.  Maybe some­where down the road I’ll have daugh­ters-in-law or grand­daugh­ters.  That would be fan­tas­tic.  I don’t wish for them now, and I don’t want my kids to think that I did.

You Know You Need to Write a Blog Post When…

  • You think to your­self, “Wow.  I’m real­ly hap­py. ”  Not just today.  Not just right now, but with my life.
  • You find your­self diag­nosed with an auto-immune dis­ease (celi­ac dis­ease) and so many things begin to make sense.
  • You think to your­self “I’m awe­some” after you walk/run a 5k.
  • In the same day that you don’t get more than 5 min­utes in a row to work on any one thing, you also know that you can’t wait to go back to school to get anoth­er degree.
  • You may have final­ized the design for your very first tat­too.
  • You are read­ing an amaz­ing book and want to tell every­one you see about it.
  • You have lost 20 pounds and feel bet­ter than you can remem­ber feel­ing in over a decade (see pre­vi­ous point about things mak­ing sense after a diag­no­sis).


I have real­ized that the emp­ty box of the Add New Post page feels very over­whelm­ing to me.  It also feels like a long term com­mit­ment I may not be ready to make.  I used to blog reg­u­lar­ly.  I also got into the Twitter/BlogHer/social net­work­ing world of blog­ging.  I felt more and more pres­sure to have page views and to blog reg­u­lar­ly.  When I men­tioned to some “big” blog­gers that I didn’t feel like I had any­thing to say all that reg­u­lar­ly, the advice I got was to write one or two posts a week and do memes two or three times a week.  That’s prob­a­bly great advice.  Unfor­tu­nate­ly, for me, it didn’t res­onate, and instead of blog­ging less, I stopped alto­geth­er.

I’m not sure what hap­pened.  I don’t know if it was the celi­ac or if it was some­thing else.  What­ev­er it was, *some­thing* hap­pened this spring.  I feel like so many things in my life are com­ing togeth­er.  I final­ly have the moti­va­tion to go with my efforts to get back into shape.  I am eat­ing very well and feel­ing no depri­va­tion.  I feel more patient with my chil­dren.  I have a time­line for going back to school and work­ing toward a degree.  I have won­der­ful friends.  With three friends mov­ing away this sum­mer, I was feel­ing a bit melan­choly about hav­ing lived here for almost 15 years, but late­ly the awe­some­ness of my friends has over­whelmed me.  You know you have good friends when some­one can tell you that the new bra you bought makes “the girls” look real­ly nice.  😉

The final straw that got me back to this emp­ty box and helped me get words into it was real­iz­ing that two of my very favorite blogs are updat­ed irreg­u­lar­ly.  They aren’t every day blog­gers.  There might be three posts one week and then not anoth­er one for three weeks.  Regard­less, when the posts do come, I am real­ly hap­py and excit­ed to read them.

So, with that, I begin again to share my attempts to live a life of inten­tion while being con­tent with what I have right now.

P.S. Now I want to go back and link to ALL my favorite blogs.  Maybe I’ll do that down the line.

It’s Been A Year

Actu­al­ly, if we’re being tru­ly accu­rate, it’s been a year and eleven days since my last post.  I’m think­ing about get­ting this blog going again.  There have been a few things going on in our lives which have kept me from blog­ging (Baby #4).  There have also been a few things which have tempt­ed me to start blog­ging again.  🙂

My imme­di­ate plan for blog­ging is to log some recipes I have in web­page form to make it eas­i­er for meal plan­ning.  I use a google spread­sheet for our meal plans.  I’d like to be able to have a link to the recipes in order to have it more eas­i­ly avail­able when we are cook­ing sup­per.  Hope­ful­ly… (ha!) that will lead to more blog­ging beyond just keep­ing recipes in order.  We shall see.

I’m Reading, and I Love It!

One of my goals for this year was to read more.  I didn’t set a goal or a type of book that I want­ed to read.  I just want­ed to make it a pri­or­i­ty, and after the first month, I’m hap­py to say I have.  Since Jan­u­ary 1, I have fin­ished four books.  I am also halfway through a fifth and part­way through the sixth.

I just love read­ing, and I love how I feel after I’ve read.

Check out my read­ing lists and the books I’ve fin­ished in 2012!

I’m always hap­py to have more sug­ges­tions and reviews.  Feel free to share what you are read­ing or some­thing you’ve read late­ly that you want to pass on.