I Am Worth It

I Am Worth It

Pho­to via Red­vers on Flickr

Yes­ter­day I relax­ing after our Christ­mas cel­e­bra­tion, and for some rea­son a co-work­er from many years ago popped into my head.  He was some­one I worked with before Jason and I got mar­ried while I was going to col­lege.  Dur­ing the time I worked with him, I alter­nat­ed between think­ing he was fun­ny and enjoy­ing his com­pa­ny and think­ing he was annoy­ing and count­ing the days until either he or I quit.  We didn’t have much in com­mon, and he had a way of say­ing things that got on my nerves.  We were not close friends by any one’s def­i­n­i­tion.

One day, (I have no idea why) the con­ver­sa­tion turned to whether or not Jason and I were “shack­ing up” before we got mar­ried.  We were not, and I told him that.  He was some­thing near incred­u­lous when I told him that.  He said some­thing like, “Jason is miss­ing out on a lot of fun!”  I remem­ber look­ing at him and say­ing, “He’ll wait.  I’m worth it.”  He didn’t have much to say after that.  Need­less to say, I’m guess­ing the con­ver­sa­tion didn’t go at all as he had expect­ed.*

Jump­ing back to the present, I am now mar­ried to Jason (for 8 1/2 years), and the moth­er of three amaz­ing boys (5 years, 3 years, and 2 months).  I got to think­ing about whether or not I still believe that I’m worth it, not so much about wait­ing for the shack­ing up now but for putting my own needs and some wants at the top of the list.  If I need to sched­ule time away from my hus­band and kids for exer­cis­ing, am I worth it?  Am I worth it if I real­ize that I no longer have any pants that fit and just a few shirts?  If I decide I want to work on get­ting more fruits and veg­gies (which are more expen­sive than some of the oth­er options at the store) into my diet, am I worth it?  Eight and a half years ago, I would have smiled and told you firm­ly that of course I am worth it.  Now, I’ve slipped com­plete­ly into mom/wife-ness, and I will tell you I’m worth it as long as it doesn’t affect my hus­band or chil­dren too much.  Of course I’m worth it, but…  If you’re a par­ent or a spouse, I’m guess­ing that most of you will admit you’ve been in this place at one time or anoth­er.

This isn’t a New Year’s res­o­lu­tion post.  This is more of a post-baby, life is set­tling down in the new house kind of post.  So, as it hap­pens to be New Year’s Eve in less than a week, I guess that this is a fine time to start some new habits, right?  I am going to start post­ing reg­u­lar­ly about my efforts to take care of myself.  In the near future, I see these posts cen­ter­ing around two main areas.  One is my phys­i­cal health.  The oth­er is liv­ing a life of inten­tion.

Tak­ing care of myself phys­i­cal­ly is some­thing I tend to over­look.  I had a (near­ly 10 pound) baby just over two months ago.  Before I got preg­nant with him, I was not at a weight I was very hap­py about.  I haven’t been exer­cis­ing reg­u­lar­ly for a while, and in addi­tion to affect­ing my weight, I think that I get sick more eas­i­ly and more often.  I’m tired of get­ting sick!  To do this, I’m going to be par­tic­i­pat­ing in the #Mama­va­tion Twit­ter cam­paign.  This is a week­ly blog­ging car­ni­val in addi­tion to reg­u­lar inter­ac­tion with oth­er like-mind­ed moms on Twit­ter.

Liv­ing a life of inten­tion is some­thing that’s been on my mind for quite a while.  I’m real­ly excit­ed to be a part of Amber Strocel’s Craft­ingMyLife upcom­ing course.  I’m sure I’ll be talk­ing about it, and I can’t wait for her to solve all my prob­lems and answer all my life direc­tion ques­tions.  🙂  (Just kid­ding.  I’m real­ly only expect­ing her to answer *some* of those ques­tions, not all of them.  Kid­ding again…kind of.)

So, as I move into 2011, I’m look­ing for­ward to the changes that putting myself on the list of pri­or­i­ties will bring.

Comments

  1. Aw, I love this post! It’s so easy to put our­selves last as moms. But we real­ly ARE worth it.

    And also? I’m feel­ing the pres­sure. I don’t know how many of your prob­lems I can solve, but I’ll do my best to help!

  2. Thanks! It’s so easy to put myself last espe­cial­ly with a new baby and hav­ing just moved. It seems like there’s always some­thing else I should be doing. I took 30 min­utes to curl my hair yes­ter­day before our fam­i­ly Christ­mas cel­e­bra­tion and felt guilty the entire time!! Sad.

    Don’t feel too much pres­sure to solve my prob­lems. I am sure the answers will come in time. I’m just hop­ing I’m on the right path to find­ing them. I used to teach spe­cial edu­ca­tion, but for many rea­sons I have no desire to go back to the career I had before hav­ing kids. Now that my old­est is get­ting clos­er to school age, I’m start­ing to real­ize that at some point my youngest will also be school age and I will need to make some deci­sions. Right now, I feel like an unde­cid­ed fresh­man in a uni­ver­si­ty. I’m hop­ing at some point some­thing will start shed­ding light onto the process.

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