A few months ago I was attempting to write a post for the Carnival of Natural Parenting. The description of the month’s topic was:
November 2010: What is Natural Parenting?: Explore one concept from the natural parenting philosophy – why is it important to you/your family?
I knew right away what I wanted to write about. I was going to write about Equally Shared Parenting. So, I started where every good writer starts. I googled it. I found the website for Marc and Amy Vachon’s book by the same name. I started writing my post. I wrote about how we share the child raising, house work, recreation, and then I got to breadwinning. We don’t share that.
Jason has a career that he enjoys. He likes what he does. He is good at it, and he wants to continue to do it for some time. I went to school for education. I have a double major in elementary and middle school education with areas of concentration (similar to minors) in math and history. I also have a masters degree in special education with the general strategist certification. I, unfortunately, do not have a career that I enjoy and want to return to.
So, while as much as I like to think that we are practicing equally shared parenting, we are not. Jason shares all the responsibility for the tasks around the house and with the kids, but I do not share any of the responsibility of breadwinning. I could explain why we’ve chosen for it to be this way, but in the end it really comes down to the fact that I don’t work. Right now, I’m okay with not working (for money), and eventually I hope to return to a career. However, shouldering all the responsibility for this area is a lot.
(As a side note, remind me in the future that my 5 year old cannot nap for more than 30 minutes or he will be up at 9:45 just tossing and turning in his bed.)
So, as I was trying to write that post, I realized that in the future Jason and I may very well practice equally shared parenting, we don’t right now. Some days I’m okay with that, and some days I wish it was different. Some days I feel guilty about asking him to share all the other responsibilities of our family but not sharing in the breadwinning.
I have some other thoughts on careers, motherhood, etc. I may share some of them in the future, but until then I don’t have anything to neatly wrap up my thoughts on this. I don’t have a great response question for anyone who might read this. I guess I just thought I’d put this out there and see what happens.